Monday, October 8, 2018

If You Change Your Life, You Might Exchange Some Friends


As a person evolves over the years, they can't keep all of the exact same friends. Some friends drift away when you no longer have anything in common; maybe those commonalities were flimsy. Some friends can't be kept due to either the other person's issues, yours, or both. Over time, I hope that you can look at your own life and see some patterns. Certain personality traits in others are very attractive to you and serve as magnets. That is sometimes good, sometimes bad, but in the cases I'm referring to here, it’s not only good but kind of a relief.

Not long ago, I found myself looking at just two or three personality traits belonging to some of my friends, specifically two work acquaintances and my longtime pal we’ll call Georgette. Each of the work friends are total geeks, okay? They're really into reading, immersing themselves in stories, and they both enjoy discussing history. One of them treasures and has a lot of opinions on the Harry Potter books and has some media passions that are very niche. My former friend L was a passionate nerd as well, and I've proven to myself, countless times over the years, that I'm drawn to intellectually curious, imaginative social underdogs. I mean, I have a favorite barista in my neighborhood because she loves dogs, wears vibrant colors in her hair, and did her Masters thesis on the Irish Free Derry movement.
I mean. Patterns.
Exhibit C: Georgette is too judgmental of others. She's quick to give her opinion if a choice made by another person doesn't measure up to her standards of moral and ethical behavior, as if her statement is like a hammer coming down on the matter. Now. I can't throw Georgette under the bus without rolling under there with her, so: I'm an opinionated jerk. My friend and I have established our respective things we're consistently critical about, and in that way, we seem to absolutely be equally crappy. She and I can gossip about our perception of this woman we know, have the same conversation over and over about opinions and empathy regarding drug addicts giving birth, and also discuss mental health, although with each of the two latter topics, neither of us works in those fields or researches them, so we're never bringing anything new to the table, so to speak. Often, these discussions don't teach me anything. They often seem, to me, like judgmental ego trips.
By the way, if that last statement is me overthinking things, please feel free to politely say so. I need perspective. Georgette really is someone I respect and care about, as am I.
Anyway, Georgette is intense, and so was L, but with my current pal, the energy isn't the same. Her mindset, management of her emotions, and her priorities are unlike those of the ex-friend, and if I feel drained after hanging out with her, it won't be from spending all day pretending to be someone else. I would feel drained only because I'm developing my spiritual abilities right now and therefor tend to open myself up energetically and stay 'open' all day, and I used to (emphasis on the past tense) forget to protect myself energetically (by visualizing while thinking something like, "I surround myself in the white light of protection"). I love Georgette and some of her convictions. She is at a very different place in her life than L was at age 25, and isn't equally as judge-y, but I can't deny the similarity. 

I'm bringing this up because you and I both already knew that I was recently drawn to these people due partly to these traits of theirs that I really enjoy in a friend or possess myself, but at some point, I realized that these traits were also present in someone in my past - L. I now can quote an old, very popular TV show, discuss history and novels with the adorable nerds, then discuss social change and get unnecessarily judgmental with Georgette - all things I used to do with L. One day, weeks ago, the idea occurred to me that certain open spaces in my social life have possibly been filled, be it by myself or the universe as well, and I obviously felt the need to write this piece about it.

Friday, September 28, 2018

Grandpa and I touched for the first time in 11 years (AKA My First Class in Intuitive Development).

I went to an intuitive development class on Tuesday, September 25, a class held at a spiritual center that I learned about due to being guided there by spirit. 
Those two hours were a good experience, starting with the initial meditation, during which I battled nerves by vividly imagining myself in my grandparents’ backyard. When opening myself up energetically, I did my usual by mentally calling out to my higher self, my grandfather and my spirit guides, though this time I chose to picture myself in a safe place: on Grandma and Puppa’s back deck, sitting near my grandfather.


Saturday, September 22, 2018

Adaptation (Fantasy Exit Strategy Creative Writing Exercise)

On 11/19/12, I wrote something inspired by a Thought Catalog piece. Here's my take:


1.    1.   Run away to Brooklyn for two months. Eat the best food while standing between redheaded sisters and a family of chic, noisy Muslim women. The man in front of you calls home to “Mama” in N’ Orl’ns, talking with his mouth full. Watch a diverse group of loud, confident neighborhood kids argue and tease each other and play basketball with the unspoken knowledge that all their families suffered from the hurricane, and took it in fierce New York stride that you will never really relate to. Crash at a friend of a friend’s tiny apartment, falling asleep on the couch to the sound of a car chase. Try white peach bean paste bon bons. Take countless pictures. Go to a dance battle. Try not to feel too overwhelmed. Do shots with the bartender of the theme bar you like. Go on a few dates with a hardcore Yankees fan with gentle eyes and, as he’s taking you home on the 4, give a subtle nod of understanding to the girl at the other end of the train car – the one who just kissed the back of her boyfriend’s hand. New York has its own magic, and you two, as outsiders and mere mortals, are powerless against it.
2.    2. Two years later, you visit San Francisco.

Tectonic Plates (AKA Goldie Reunion)

So on July 20th, I had my reunion with Goldie. It was predictably anticlimactic. Prepare yourself.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

About This Dream I Had (Ice Cream)

In February of this year, I had the following dreams:
Using topping guns in an ice cream shop and later watching Matthew Perry entertain in costume.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

So Friday Happened...

Friday night was not fun. That said, a story came out that was really interesting from a compassionate standpoint. The plan was to joke around with a couple of friends and have some wine. We ate dinner and put on a movie, then the night was out of control for a while, with discussion careening into the topic of race.