Friday, February 28, 2014

How to Respectfully Follow That Writer Online

 

1.    Carefully, and with quiet, plodding steps…assuming that a person can plod quietly.

2.  Use a horrific impression of the Lone Ranger.

3.   You might draw a twelve-month calendar of seahorses by hand, at which that author you love might look back as he hurries away from you.

4.  Stuff your gullet with white chocolate baking chips.

5.   Read some Hemingway.

6.  Check out Rachel Cohn.

7.   Fall in love with the quality of a celebrity profile they once wrote and save their website to your browser’s favorites under the heading, “…got drunk and flirted with Chris Evans, a.k.a. My Heroine

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Kill, Marry, Bang: 'Copper' Edition

Flashback Friday!

Because I used to watch Copper, the BBC America show with a ton of potential that rushed through its first few episodes, and proved itself to be just okay, and because [I gave myself such a long breather from laughing at Maguire's Tombs hair] I didn't know until four months later that it had been cancelled in September 2013, I've decided that every once in a while, on a Friday, if I can't bring myself to keep it quiet, I'll post about something that happened a while ago. Maybe someday I'll write a piece like this about The Adventures of Pete and Pete and call it "Marry, Steal Lunch Money, Hold Hands With" or something. Who knows. Please bear with me!




Kill: Elizabeth Morehouse. I’d absolutely hate for her husband, socialite/aspiring philanthropist Robert Morehouse to lose the one person who really holds a place in his heart and possibly close himself off for life, but Copper is a very mediocre show that wasted some of its best story lines in a desperate season one in which I found Elizabeth a little annoying, and now that the second season is over, I’m like, ‘Your opium addiction is interesting, dear, but – meh – it’s too late for me to connect,’, so I wouldn’t really mind killing her. Drugs would not be a good idea creatively, but maybe snapping her neck falling out of a carriage during a street riot would do the job, or she could receive her second Confederate death threat, only for the Southerner to succeed…or an artery could be severed by a decorative hat. Okay, sure, that last idea was weird, but it’s good to have options.