Could I skip to the stage of a relationship that would have been Liz Lemon's dream and just be done with this? 'Kay, thanks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has thought to themselves, 'UGH. I am so SICK of this stage of love'. Mind you, I know I previously had limited experience with the emotion: I'm part of a warm, stable family and have some semblance of love with a few friends. But
I stated in January that I am currently in romantic love for the very first time, and holy s--t - I have been thinking like an insane person for the past - mmm, seven months, I think - going through the scientifically proven stage of love that has me much more attentive to small children, dogs and babies, having more difficulty focusing on tasks, getting annoyed with myself.
This piece was first published on 3.29.14 and the title was changed on 11.28.20
When I say I'm more attentive to small, cute creatures, I mean that I've always loved kids and canines, but when any of those three are around me, I hone in on their presence more than usual, feeling even more excited about it. In the past, I've read a few things about what the human brain can do and be capable of when "madly in love", so once I found myself getting especially pumped about meeting my infant cousin this past Thanksgiving and thinking of my current someone countless times every day, it was even more annoying because I recognized it as a chemical phase. Things were worse in the fall of 2013; I kept walking around thinking, 'I'm out of my mind'. I took a couple of college courses and when the unexciting disorder I have made me take distracted pauses while studying for a test, my thoughts typically went straight to my someone. And oooooohmydog. If my id could have had its way, I would've appeared at my someone's side at random times almost every day of the week, to hug his head for a while, ask questions, maybe eat half of his tortilla chips while staring as he worked. Isn't that awful? I wish I was joking. The feeling has prompted me to not contact him during work hours and keep photos of my friend's dogs Coco on my cell. The resilient feminist in me insists that such BS takes time away from finishing the novel I'm writing, or the e-book that's been in its fledgling stage since late December, and the piece I've been agonizing over for Nerve.
It's like one part of my mind has repeatedly said to the other, "Meh, get over yourself. Relax. I'm trying to determine whether or not this guy will be the love of your life and father of your children. That takes time and energy. Let me have those things", while another part wants to focus on other needs and brngs to mind something I heard comic/writer Amy Schumer say in an interview that falling in love had made her "scared all the time", that it "kinda sucks".
So I'm waiting it out.
Impatiently.
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