My Dream Hair

I do love my tresses, it’s true; the nearly-black natural color, the fact that I haven’t dyed my whole head of hair, that day in 2001 when I took a chance by having it cut from just-past-the-shoulders to a short almost-pixie inspired by Mandy Moore. That last decision liberated me from a useless obsession with the long, thick hair that I was actually overwhelmed by.

These days, it’s still short, but I’ve learned a few styling techniques and introduced myself to the fun of making it colorful. I’ve had red highlights, blue-green bangs, and at one point, a panel of red, orange and blonde.

When I inevitably get bored with my look, I don’t just think of what I want to do next, but I fantasize, too, about having 22 inches of purple, Joss Stone-style waves to toss over my shoulder and wear with a black dress.
I think of using colors that are so adorable on other women but wouldn’t work for my skin tone, like that outgoing pastel pink, which I could pair with pearls and vintage clothes to look like a librarian’s shy assistant, lavender to remind me of a spunky female character in an old animated kids movie with soft curls bouncing around a silver sequined headband, auburn waves so I could play Amber’s friend in an episode of Parenthood or straight, shoulder-length black with emerald streaks throughout and a fringe across my forehead to accompany my biker jacket and skull ring.

My hair color could inspire me to go out with my cousin’s friends, whom I hardly know, to try an old-fashioned, to get smarter with a curling iron, to keep going to that writers’ group, to put on dark orange eye shadow and my new heels, to travel again and act like I’ve always looked this way.

I could be a rock musician for all my admirers may know, or perhaps a coffee shop girl/aspiring poet, an alternative model by way of Audrey Kitching, an environmental science grad student, one of New York’s many muses, a receptionist at a tattoo shop or Jared Leto’s next girlfriend.

Some things I am nonstop: a daughter, a niece, an artist, female, sensitive. And other things I am for a moment or a day or a matter of months. I’d love to trade in my current look for a bit and be refreshed, to play a double take-snagging, Americano-sipping diva with bejeweled fingers and brand name sunglasses you could easily imagine having a successful career because she’s excited to discuss Europe and Sherlock Holmes and Philip Lim 3.1 with you. I want you to think I’m very interesting and that my outlook provides a lot of “promise” for the future. Wonder if I’m single. Ask yourself if I’m straight. Know that our hair refers to our personalities and that mine has its surprises.