I feel the need to write you a note not as an inappropriate ploy for page views (ick), but as an expression of my gratitude for the gifts you gave us. I've been a fan of yours for years because of your guts - that willingness to sometimes expose your compassion and culture and vulnerability, aside from the fact that you'd "go out and do a talk show and [she'd] come out like a machine gun", as Kathy Griffin put it to Anderson Cooper on CNN.
You've always been an example to me of using in-depth sharing as a tool that helps others get to know you, which is a brave move generally, but for a comic, an interesting, useful tool accompanying the raunchy, witty, cutting stand-up that you refined and reinvented. You're always hip, always "fearless", to quote Margaret Cho on Larry King Now, and wonderfully so, and as Cho said, "I think she was just -- unafraid, and that is what youth is, fearlessness. That kind of fearlessness that is unabashed, it's celebratory..."
Screw aging
- bring on the jokes about Viagra and Justin Bieber and
one of my personal favorites, "No man ever put his hand up a woman's skirt
looking for a library card".
Another
impressive thing about you, in my opinion, is your work-aholism. I've seen A Piece of
Work twice to try
to learn more about using one's art to
make a paycheck, to try to wrap my head around how you afforded
jewelry and furniture I'd love to own. It appeared to me that you carried
anxiety around with you each day, and that staying out onstage, edgy and
surprising, was a ferocious commitment to survival. I've never had that drive, but as I worry about reaching
my goals, I think of you. You metaphorically smacked me
in the forehead with something you said to another talented stand-up, Loni Love,
on your web series In Bed with
Joan. She said, "I was hoping that I could take a
break," and you, with all of your years of experience, told her, "You never take a break. 'Cause they will forget you..."
Love said,
"I wanna find out about bein' a female comic..." because she likes
hearing other people/other women's stories firsthand, and I remember the look
in your eye that came along with the answer, "...Don't just say,
'I need a break'. Don't worry. The business will give you breaks."
I have been
having a hard time lately in my career and I get sick of my own concerns, and my whining, so I'm not
surprised that your fabulous royal highness came to mind to
inspire me into kickin' my own ass. My hardships have yet to be true
hardships, and right now, I have loved ones to help me, but the consequences of my decisions/bad habits over the last ten
years have not been what I naïvely expected, and I'm sure you're well
aware that self-pity is the enemy of achievement and of
creativity. When I need a curse-laden pick-me-up, I look up to Cho, Kathy
Griffin, Cyndi Lauper,
and you. After all these years of fighting to get
and stay where you wanted to be, I want you to know that I'm among the fans who've admired your passion. I love you. I like
watching your friends champion you in interviews since your
passing. I want to make you proud. Trust me when I
say that you'll live forever in the way that only a sweet,
talented bad-ass can. As I watch video from the roast where you insist you'll never retire,
shouting, "Comedy needs me!" I'm still in a state of disbelief that when the media focus fades, you won't be
airing another episode of Fashion
Police, eyes gleaming with mischief and intelligence. On the
aforementioned CNN special, Andy Cohen said, "I don't wanna live in a
world without Joan Rivers", and man, neither do I. I hope that one day I might get the great privilege of having a drink with you, Ms Rivers. Thank you for everything. You're a good example and a true feminist and I miss you very much.
sincerely,
Shannon
sincerely,
Shannon
No comments:
Post a Comment