Monday, September 28, 2020

About This Dream I Had (I Carried a Dead Thing)

          This dream was had on the morning of either Sept. 22 or 23.

 

          I made the mistake of choosing to not write down this dream immediately after waking, so hours later, I of course didn't remember much, though the scene was fuller than many other dreams I've had, which I'm sure is the result of my Higher Self getting involved. There was more atmosphere when I suddenly was in the home of some friends I don't know in real life - three sisters, one brother - and I was drawn to one of the sisters most because she had an air about her that said we could have intellectual discussions, I could learn, maybe even open up my optimism, standing more often in the headspace where, to quote a cliché, "The world is your oyster."

 

I sat on the front porch with this friend for a while before moving inside, where she and her siblings were moving around, working separately on who-knows-what. On the porch, something about our conversation had involved a dead frog. That's right! A dead. Frog. Real life me would not be a part of that, but...Anyway, I went into the house, crossed the open floor plan to the kitchen counter and stood at the far left side, where the countertop was a wooden cutting board. On the board was an animal. I didn't tell myself that it, too, was a corpse, but I didn't see it move, and looking back, I think it may have been another frog, but I can say for sure that behind it, at the far end of the cutting board, I placed the corpse I'd carried in my palm.  

 

           In searching online for possible explanations for these details, I didn't come up with anything that helped me understand why the dream featured one frog, let alone two, but dreambible,com said about the dead one:

To dream of a dead animal represents a change in your thinking or feeling. It may also reflect a loss or overcoming a problem.

I asked my Higher Self, "Why frogs? Specifically, why were both animals frogs?" and I decided to treat them as two questions rather than one, laying down two cards, and got in response the Queen of Wands, then The Magician.

About friends, Dream Bible said:

To dream of having a friend that you've never seen before represents beliefs or situations that make you feel good, or help you in some way. A supportive or co-operative aspect of yourself. It may also reflect your projection of a situation or arrangement that is beneficial to you  

          This may be a stretch, and if it is, I apologize, but to try understanding the appearance of frogs, I delved into my memory of some historical uses for the animals. 

- Frog legs are said to not be an unusual food in Vietnam or Cambodia, but they're a delicacy in France and China.

- If/when I get the chance to meet frogs, I imagine myself avoiding them. I don't want to touch their presumably slimy skin, but I also want them to be free to do their own thing. 

- They contribute to ecosystems by helping to control the insect populations.

- Poison dart frogs are such cool colors! 

- Lastly, just as I was starting to do a little research on frogs in human culture and diet, I asked  my mother what the creatures made her think of, and she reminded me of the phase where she and I would go back and forth pranking each other by leaving one or both of the green rubber frogs we owned in each other's beds, or sometimes one would "end up" in Mom's shoe. 


          This dream was a combination effort from my subconscious and my Higher Self. I can't help but think the point was to entertain and prep me for the major changes coming my way very soon. According to my Higher Self, we're capable, as a team, of manifesting both an apartment and a job for which I'm well suited, and I expect to have these opportunities in October. In the meantime, my conclusion about the dream is as follows: When I voluntarily step into major change, I will have full support from the Other Side and if I don't give in to my long-standing bad personality trait of complaining a lot, filling my head with negativity, but instead I keep to my reasonable, positive priorities and focus each morning on meditation, I can create the change while simultaneously feeling good. That's a tall order at a stressful time, and I know how the whole thing looks to my smart, well-intentioned loved ones (whom I'm afraid might soon remind me of the apartment-hunting debacle during quarantine and be like, "Shannon, seriously. Not that s**t again."), but the change will actually make my life much less stressful and I enjoy things I've been awakening within myself in this process, so every upcoming shift is ultimately for the best, right?

                                                   
                                                        I'm Your Villain GIF | Gfycat

 

          When there's something you want very much to achieve, one of the routines that will help a great deal is, in the language of Dr. Joe Dispenza, to think about what you think about. When you catch yourself repeating one of your standard negative thoughts, like, 'This [thing that didn't go my way/poor choice you made] always happens" or some B.S. line about being incompetent or unworthy or perhaps spiraling into recounting old memories that help you stew in an insecurity - I guarantee that it'll help you achieve your goal and feel significant better in your day-to-day if you start replacing those negative thought patterns with better ones. When people have gotten candid about their own patterns, I've never heard a thought that was true. I can perpetuate things in my head to keep myself mired in a particular fear, but the fear itself isn't just painful; it's also incorrect. These cycles of negativity disrupt our sleep and moods and have a major affect on the levels of cortisol (A stress hormone) in our systems, making us more stressed and more susceptible to different health issues in addition to the fact you definitely already know: that it has a big, bad affect on the rest of our lives. 

          You and I already know what life is like, how our moods are, and how our bodies feel when we're living in the painful lies, y' know what I mean? That is familiar. I've documented on this blog (and in a book I'm writing) the fact that reconsidering my status quo and rejecting it for a new one is difficult, but please do reconsider, because you just might do it so well that you replace a lie you've told yourself and feel lighter. You might find yourself also having better social interactions, more smiles, and maybe you'll score the apartment and closet in the master bedroom that each have the ideal size, or you could not only adopt a pet, as intended, but end up with one who seems like your perfect match! Or what if your goal is to change your daily consumption habit; maybe you've been eating and drinking in a way that has felt like an indulgent, lazy phase you're not crazy about, partly because you've got aches and pains you didn't have before...and the doctor is talking about tests or a medication and you don't like that idea either...You could at least try to turn a particular bad habit around and see if it makes a real difference. Maybe you've been struggling to find the job you really want and you're now convinced that terribly discouraging repetitive thoughts are making it worse. It's not like you can't change these this about your life.

          Do you want to feel better? And that isn't a facetious question, I mean it. Really loving and respecting and encouraging ourselves is not the norm, so it feels uncomfortable for a while and a person could always turn their back on it consistently, choosing instead the known, wherein you burden yourself and swim against the current. Choosing again, being kind to oneself is weirder than chatting with a new friend on their front porch and suddenly finding yourself accepting the invitation to hold in your bare hand a dead frog. 

         Remember when I was dating Tom? This is embarrassing, but each time things between us became, mmm, how do I say this without exaggerating? They became unpleasant. But each time, I decided I was too chicken to let him go, which was so dumb, but once we had parted ways, there I was, immediately feeling better! The last break-up had me driving away, smiling, boppin' in the driver's seat at a red light. I had gone back for a couple of the gifts I'd given him, just to be petty, and for the partially-drunk bottle of grape vodka I'd kept next to his alcohol. Now that bottle was in my trunk, waiting for my first sip as a woman finally freed from her own self-repression! I hadn't known that I could feel celebratory after that particular ending, but...there I was, creating a major change that did me nothin' but good. 

           As I edit this essay, I'm listening to an interview with Dr. Elisa Medhus on They Call Us Channelers and I just heard her say that parents want their kids to "be happy, fulfilled and productive", and as much as I've wanted, in the past, to make that happen for myself, I want it differently now. I'm learning more about the actual power of my mean thoughts and statements and quasi-jokes about myself. They impact my self-esteem as well as what I attract with help from the universe. My everyday life is significantly easier and I feel better when I practice my most recent assignment, which is to repeat, while meditating, "It's time to succeed; it's time to feel good". Cool air streams directly into my face and feels like it's circulating inside my skull, my chest, holy s**t. Yes. 

 Because I can change my circumstances by starting with my thoughts. It's time to succeed, time to feel good.

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