It was about a young man, an immigrant. I never learned what his first language was and by the time I heard him speak, he sounded American-raised (and thankfully, this was a dream, so I could get away with turning around to be his audience for what felt like minutes plural). He didn't know anybody when he moved to town, so short, so skinny, in baggy athleisure, with truly icky hair choices.
You know when someone's hair is really short, but still styled in a questionable way that makes you think, 'It deserves so much better'? I know you've heard me go on and on about acceptance and patience and my pursuit of non-judgment, and everything I've said is what I'm really up to, but I have moments of choosing my old ways and...here I go, being catty, because...this hair. It involved skinny pieces of hair pointed down his forehead as if he didn't understand what "bangs" or "fringe" means. Sure, the look wasn't nearly as interesting as the live tree-as-accessory I depicted in a previous post, but here at No Matter Where You Go, There You Are, I don't try to outdo myself, I just shine light on the weird elaborate metaphors, and this guy was indeed a metaphor.
Soon after moving to town with his unimpressive, greasy hair, he befriended some locals. In a parking lot, a small group of them passed me on their way to run some errands. The group included an octogenarian with whitish hair who was reminding everyone of what they needed, none of which I paid attention to, and the next scene I remember was a major jump in timeline that had the guy waiting behind me in a long queue that had poured down the curb, part of the length of the plaza attached to the grocery store, which was decidedly not a super-everything-mart. Behind me, the fringe on his forehead was weird, but not as bad as it had been in the past, and he had a relatively short ponytail. He discussed the day's plans with his friend/lady friend (whatever, I just could tell they were close). His skin was a lovely shade, dark enough that he may have been Latinx, South American - I obviously don't know. The family he'd formed with locals seemed to otherwise be Caucasian, including the pretty brunette young woman who was his height, somewhere between 5'5" and 5' exactly, and I heard them say at one point that eventually there would be things that their young friend in attendance, a middle school-aged girl, would be assigned to handle after puberty growth spurts. Apparently it was expected that she would be significantly taller than these two. In a flash, the scene changed to the three of them standing at the roadside, by grass and a telephone pole, saying farewell to part ways with the young'n, hugging it out. Clearly this young man born elsewhere had found a family in this home as well.
This dream came about in November and the aforementioned dude is my newfound assertiveness, and he's a person of color because I am a white lady in the U.S. (entitlement, systemic racism*, spending one's whole life receiving archaic s--t in my brain that is currently woven into the artificial fabric of so-called normal). I had the dude befriend a woman because of the gentler, more nurturing part of me and the fact that my past self did a poor job of protecting her, instead allowing for me to be mistreated by numerous jerks over the years. Additionally, I'm sure my subconscious has, in the past, put a child in a dream specifically to represent my now-former belief that in a way, I had very little power, and I also assume that I've probably written, in a blog post, about a fictional child appearing in a dream, so this idea shouldn't be a surprise to you, reader, when I say that in this context, my assertiveness is new and therefor a foreigner, now getting comfortable, becoming part of a family, looking out for a kid who stands in for my perceived vulnerability.
This I find amusing: Remember how I said that the new guy's hair looked gross? It seemed greasy, looked it up and found,
Slicked Hair
To dream of hair being slicked back represents a thinking style or attitude that is focused on doing everything you're supposed to be doing. Being on top of things all the time.
Ha ha.
Earlier in my spiritual journey, I stopped procrastinating about working on my fear of trusting others, stopped relying heavily on behaviors that I knew were childish and not actually protecting me. This self-discovery/-improvement was aided by talks from Vincent Genna, MSW, an inspirational speaker/intuitive counselor who talks about some of our adult beliefs not really being beliefs but defense mechanisms to protect us against one or more negative messages we've been telling ourselves (perhaps daily, like in my case) since childhood. In an interview with David Holmes, he said the following:
“My scar is still there. I will still hear my mother tell me, ‘Oh Vinny, we don’t come from anything, so we’re not good enough to achieve anything great’…I can’t stop that voice because it is a scar…I call this scar the ‘I'm not': that message we receive when we're younger, that ‘I'm not deserving enough, I'm not lovable enough' – “ And in a self-help workshop, Vincent instructs people to visually tattoo their scar on their shoulder in order for them to remember it every time something triggers their own fear or negative criticism, so that they “automatically can associate it with this little voice that’s been inside of you since childhood.”
I was listening to and drawing strength from Vincent Genna's work regularly in 2018 and '19 and these days, I’m even quicker at immediately acknowledging and shoving away that voice. In fact, I'm changing my response soon because it sometimes accidentally happens aloud, ha ha. I'll start having negative thoughts along the lines of bullying myself for not dating enough because it's not "normal", which quickly turns into projecting that judgment onto Grandma, Dad, a few friends - all people who have had the best of intentions with their pushing, some of whom were perhaps too impulsive in their approach, because sometimes I wasn't just imagining pressure, it was coming at me in a booth at a restaurant, or a friend was attempting to load a dating app onto my phone without permission and it got on my nerves, etc. The repetitive thoughts create what Dr. Joe Dispenza has spoken of many times, meaning that in a sense, I transport myself into the past, getting into the cortisol and adrenaline I attached to those thoughts, and such behavior of course prevents the healing and forward motion that is needed. After all, I can't have a lot of fun with someone new if I'm the old, self-defeating Shannon. That said, in cutting off the negative time travel before it gets very chemical, I'm currently in the habit of sarcastically, firmly saying to the thought, "Cool, 'bye!" with the same tone in which I used to say it to Shauna, and like I told you earlier, I have caught myself two or three times, letting it slip out loud! Not a good habit.
I assume it's easy to believe that my fear only affected dating, but that would be incorrect, because my social life in general suffered. I was distrustful of friends, acquaintances and coworkers in addition to strangers, choosing at times to not be authentic. Shauna left my life about two years ago, and she is deeply afraid of trusting and relying on people, as was Rachel about eight years ago, both of whom I've brought up before on this blog, but a lot of people on Earth have a trust issue, but it manifests in so many different ways, and there are varying degrees of distrust. If we could please all keep this in mind about each other and ourselves, patience, empathy and self-love will help us move more easily through life, communicate better, diffuse situations (even if that simply means our own emotions), and assist in our collective change of pace in humanity (i.e. 3D-5D). I wanna be happy and successful with an enriched life, but I also plan to really contribute to the wellness and uplifting of humans in general, so...challenging as it can be, I'm a better teammate to the human race when I keep choosing compassion and self-love.
This is why I'm appreciative of the young man in my dream. He is a facet of my completeness. Just days ago, I watched an impactful video from Aubrey Marcus wherein he and his Fit For Service team discussed deep spiritual growth they had undergone, using a some solid archetypes to assist in understanding some of the facets of one's personality, needs and spirit. If I had taken part in that discussion, I would have needed to talk about the king archetype in myself, but right now anyway, I prefer to not imagine a king, thinking instead of that recent dream with the young man. If that changes, I'll let you know.
I hope that this piece I've written can serve you as it has me. I'd love to know whether you utilize archetypes in your soul searching, what the divine masculine or feminine awakening has been like for you, etc. Go ahead and leave a comment!
*Shaman Durek and a chef have a great discussion on the shaman's podcast that includes racism but doesn't stop there! I learned a lot from it. If you're interested: https://bit.ly/348SnPL lnns.co/4MwN5UW3_Gi://lnns.co/4MwN5UW3_Gi
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