As told to my mother:
"I had a sort of lucid dream this morning just before I woke up. I went to see Ellie* at her old place and pulled into the parking lot across the street...I looked over at a nearby car to see a raccoon sitting in it, leaning out of the open window on the passenger side. I looked away for a second, turned back, and I heard feet at my passenger door. Slowly - here's the window (I needlessly indicate with my hand) - the raccoon put its claws on my door and peered in at me. It looked so aggressive that I thought it must have rabies! I knew I could drive over to the police station that was just behind the lot, but instead I decided to flip the bird at the raccoon with both hands! It started attacking my car, trying to get in, which made me think, 'Don't wanna be bitten', and I wondered how scratched that door was getting, but I quickly responded to the attack by sliding into the closest seat and proceeding to sit up tall and make claws and growling sounds."
"I had a sort of lucid dream this morning just before I woke up. I went to see Ellie* at her old place and pulled into the parking lot across the street...I looked over at a nearby car to see a raccoon sitting in it, leaning out of the open window on the passenger side. I looked away for a second, turned back, and I heard feet at my passenger door. Slowly - here's the window (I needlessly indicate with my hand) - the raccoon put its claws on my door and peered in at me. It looked so aggressive that I thought it must have rabies! I knew I could drive over to the police station that was just behind the lot, but instead I decided to flip the bird at the raccoon with both hands! It started attacking my car, trying to get in, which made me think, 'Don't wanna be bitten', and I wondered how scratched that door was getting, but I quickly responded to the attack by sliding into the closest seat and proceeding to sit up tall and make claws and growling sounds."
Yup.
Probably rabies.
Just before my mom leaves the house, I say, "Fine. Telling it to you shows me that it was all my fault." -eye roll-
*Ellie = Lola J. Massagetherapistfriend
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