Friday, December 22, 2017

About This Dream I Had (Talking Politics with Steve-O)

I knew Steve-O and discussed a major career change on 11/25.

The only part of the dream I remember went like this:
Steve-O and I talked about a need for change. Whether those changes needed to be local or not, I don't recall. Steve-O almost ran for local political office with my help. I talked him into switching with me and went out with one or two women, driving around town in a sedan, exploring the idea of whether I should run. 
Somehow I came back intoxicated and basically told Steve-O, "Nope, not a chance". He wanted us to go to the store or something, and I specifically stated that either he drove or we took Uber. He complained and laughed and got behind the wheel of what might have been a car that was a metallic lilac in color. From the passenger seat, I thought about what could happen if, even sober, I drove and made abrupt stops and turns. 

Now. Be it fair or not, I associate Steve-O with certain things, certain assumptions I've made because he has celebrity status and is a stranger to me. I can't help but think he was in the dream because I associate him with the high-stress crazy behavior of the Jackass stuff. Pranks don't appeal to me, especially if they involve all that

From what I read online,

To dream of a politician represents behavior that is preoccupied with leading while keeping other people happy. Qualities of leadership and popularity combined.

Alternatively, a politician in a dream may reflect a dominant role you feel you have or that someone has over you. A feeling or recurring theme you feel you life is being controlled by.



So this may have pertained to my job and the fact that I've been...not problematically dishonest but inauthentic with persons of authority at work who kinda like me. I haven't felt comfortable with the idea of being utterly myself at the office. If I'm wrong about that, then the politician part of the dream related to a recurring theme I have imposed on my own life and now feel controlled by. I just don't have the words for exactly what that theme is. Unpleasant self-talk? 


Also, I got curious about the part where I came home drunk, so I looked into it:

To dream of being drunk represents going overboard with your ideas, interests, or a situation. Being so focused with something you like that you may have embarrassed yourself with it. 
...
Negatively, being drunk may point to carelessness or a loss of self-control. A sign that you need to be a little more moderate with your ideas or interests. Feeling like a loser who got out of control. Anxiety about looking like you are incompetent or bumbling at something. Wild lifestyles. Speaking too much and saying these you may regret. Embarrassing yourself acting too wild or spontaneous. Allowing emotions to overpower your rational thinking.

 Unfortunately, this one suits me. I do keep saying things that aren't me, specifically at work. I'm trying too hard to maintain my privacy, and in doing so, I haven't properly represented myself. There's no need for the embarrassment and I can't go back to that. 

Maybe this dream was my way of subconsciously facing that lack of authenticity. 

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