About This Dream I Had (Ghost Nightmare)

I had a nightmare Thursday morning. Considering what's in the news right now, let's quickly acknowledge and dismiss the fact that it seems topical: this was a nightmare because in it, I was molested. 
Such a thing has not happened to me in real life and I admire the resilience of people (regardless of gender) who really have been victimized in such a way and have continued on.
That said, after waking up at at 5:15 am and writing down all that I could remember, then thinking it over, researching online, and again reviewing it here, I have concluded that sexual misconduct headlines are not relevant to my dream. 
Still. It upset me at the time and involved a ghost. The way I describe the incident is not graphic, by the way. Wanna look into it with me?






This was the first dream of this negative caliber that I'd had in who knows how long - years, maybe. It came about because I am getting over a crush on someone. It's one of those crushes that doesn't involve feelings but one singular feeling: lust. My inner cave woman was tryin' so hard to climb out of me and attach herself to the target object of her attention that every time that person would walk in the room, I'd start blushing, and I. Rarely. Blush. That obnoxiousness lasted for months, and here I am, finally putting in the work I needed to do earlier, making it go away. I don't want to waste energy thinking about that person every day, so during meditation last night, I repeatedly thought and once stated out loud that I am finished with that. The crush was never going anywhere, I had known that all along, and it really outstayed its welcome. 

Now I am killing and burying that phase and my subconscious handled it by providing me with a dream in which I was making my way through an exaggeration of my current home. I was looking for a room to assign to a real-life child relative of mine, searching fictional, well-lit hallways and rooms, all of which had single beds with greenish or brownish comforters (ugly little things), and eventually, I transitioned from one of those lamp-laden rooms to a gray hallway leading to a darker, larger space that had at least three beds. It felt like I was not only in a basement, but an unsafe space. I had a bad feeling about it, which I listened to just enough to pause in the doorway of the odd bedroom (er, dormitory? barracks?), almost doing a push-up against the frame, but I quickly turned and tried to hurry away when I saw a ghost - specifically, a flash of an older man, possibly bald, wearing a white button-down tucked into dark slacks, his hands in his pockets. When I say that I tried to escape, I mean that I felt pressure trapping me in one spot. My legs and arms were unable to move. I couldn't protect my chest from the unwanted groping that followed. It wasn't reverent groping either, but minimizing, maybe - pressing as if trying to make my breasts become small ovals. I was upset the entire time, trying to call out for "Puppa", my grandfather, who, as I might've mentioned in previous posts, has been dead for 10 years, and whom I have told more than once in that time that I'd like him to accompany me when I am in haunted places to serve as a bodyguard. It was scary, finding myself unable to fully form a word with my suddenly soundless lips, trapped by an unseen force. being sexually touched against my will. Calling out for a loved one's help seemed impossible. Thankfully, this moment was brief, and soon I was able to say, "Puppa!" out loud and get away, but it woke me up, which dreams don't often do.
I was disturbed and decided to research it immediately, just in case doing so would make it easier for me to fall back asleep. I found the following:

To dream of a ghost represents issues from your past that are unresolved and still effect you. Painful memories, guilt, unfulfilled romance, people you can't forgive, hate, anger, or embarrassment. A problem that still "haunts" you. Jealousy from the past that you can't escape...

The stuff about a ghost might not pertain to my crush but to my romantic/sexual needs in general. I figure that's possible. 

About the explanation for 'touch', I simply say, "Duh":

Negatively, being touched by someone may reflect feelings about "temptation calling" you. Sensitivity about a personal connection with someone you don't want to be personal with. Unhealthy feelings about desiring someone caring about you that maybe inappropriate. 

So in working to remove the residue of lust from my conscious mind, I was making my subconscious freak out on the rewind. Maybe there's a really dark story I could write based on this. It'd be nice to make something therapeutic and profitable from this disturbing nightmare.
I didn't expect a declaration for my well-being to have this particular blow-back, but...I just can't predict what my subconscious is going to do with my concerns. The important thing is that I commit to learning and growing.