I Want to Make My Own Major

 

            I've surpassed a need for an honesty warning, right? Right.  

          So I'll unhappily admit that I am not an ideal student. For instance, I’m very intellectually curious but a terrible test-taker.I'll space out a lot during an exam and get very sleepy, which is entirely a psychological problem, but a reality all the same. I learn a lot and enjoy it and study only to end up with grades far below A, often around C; Just this past semester I got an 80% on my American History I midterm and requested high-fives from my parents. It's obvious that I'm one of those people who has to put in a hell of a lot of work to do well in most academic things. I'd need a study buddy, too. And the IED* my parents had set up for me years ago. But even with that obstacle, I've been trying to move forward as a passionate student of writing and the human experience.

       I just don’t know what school would look at my transcripts and accept me as a matriculated student. Who would take a risk on a young woman who had such school-hating, “fight the man” self sabotage goin’ on for twelve years? I really worked to set myself up for more difficulty. Straight out of high school, I was a communications major, and I was so unhappy that I skipped classes regularly, screwing myself over instead of persevering. I even [unsuccessfully] begged my mom and dad to let me drop out. I was too immature at the time for journalism, sucked too much at PhotoShop to do well in advertising courses (even though I really tried with the help of a classmate-turned-friend & the wonderful professor Mr. Williams!), chose to put off Catcher in the Rye ‘til later and have always had difficulty reading work from the Middle Ages. I was drifting, learning through life experience, doing my best to avoid other people’s expectations.

 It’s been a while since then. I’ve figured out what degree I want and have grown up enough to work hard at it. Sure, I have a rough time with certain topics and learning styles, but we all do. 

   Wishful thinking has brought me to this: 

I’d like to make my own curriculum using both credits I’ve already earned and ones I’d probably enjoy earning in the near future, but no legitimate school would let me achieve this. Thanks to my own past commitment to laziness, I have to get very creative about my education and career. I can’t apply to a prestigious university like Carnegie Mellon or apply again to my beloved alma mater, Greendale Community College. With this in mind, I present to you my customized degree.

 

 Sample Curriculum - Creative Writing B.A.?

Poetry

Creative Nonfiction
Media Communications
Advertising in Media
Women in Literature

British Literature (Special Topics)

The Short Story
Autobiography and Archetype

Survey of Forms: Magical Realism

Native American Literature
Colonial Impact on Indigneous Literatures of Africa 
Seminar Workshop in Column Writing
International Women Writers
Cultural Criticism

Queer Cinema

Eccentrics & Outsiders

Presenting a Public Self

Editing and Publishing
Novel Into Film 
Historical Uses of Poetry for Political Change

Sexualities & Society

Female Sexuality

Irish Literature

Survey of Forms: Drunk History
Personal Essay Workshop: How to Succeed Like Kate Fridkis

           If formal education could be more individualized, I'd learn so many of the same things as my peers and actually show it on tests and succeed instead of being empty-handed, frustrated and embarrassed. I could kick ass with that creative writing degree.