Verbal Abuse You Don't Fall For

 -If every/almost every time you make a smart decision for yourself, your very insecure boyfriend/girlfriend/just friend is upset, going on and on about you being selfish. Every time.

-You find that they’re carefully editing stories they tell about social interactions they’ve had when you weren’t around, playing underdog or hero in each one.

When a Former Bully Sends You a Friend Request

Dig this: You have a weird, bad social experience as a child, grow to understand it, move on, but still occasionally have the perpetrator pop into your world, and all that comes to mind when you see them is, 'Go away! You're not allowed to be within two miles of me! Didn'tcha read the contract?'
And you're not angry or hurt, just...you enjoy pretending the bully fell off of our flat, flat Earth.