About These Dreams I Had in the Same Month (Lemon Ink, Blonde Poet)

The following dreams occurred on November 8th and 19th respectively.

 

          Rudeness, body art, fruit! And afterward, just because I feel like it, I share one of my new favorite shows with you, starring two funny, beautiful drag performers! Please join me!

 

 

           I remember just one scene out of the handful of vignettes my brain created as I got closer to wakefulness on Nov. 8th: I requested that a fictional friend design multiple tattoos that I would soon be having scattered around on my body. On my torso, I wanted something with lemons, inspired by a trip I took with that friend out to a festival in 2005, one that started with an ‘M’ and left us either underwhelmed or very unhappy. Dream Me gave too vague an implication about what had happened.

           In the midst of recent growth in confidence, spirituality and knowledge, I’ve had two or three moments of speaking aloud in a way that was too smug to be worthy of an audience, obviously stepping away from my intention to prioritize listening and empathy. It doesn’t help that in addition to those occasions, I’ve repeated some inconsiderate statements in my head, which perpetuates judgments that are not only often incorrect, but they get in the way of feeling good, achieving and helping others, which are my actual priorities overall. It’s important for me to catch myself in the midst of an unpleasant spiral in my head and hopefully change course before any of that leaves my mouth.

            We all make mistakes, and there have been occasions when I caught myself saying something either is inappropriately polarizing or a condescending, poorly worded statement that makes me sound vapid, which has led, countless times, to obsessive guilt, and it's guilt that my subconscious reflected with that tattoo dream. Not only did that festival trip in '05 not really occur, but according to online research, tats in a dream could represent “how you or someone else is choosing to be noticed permanently defining themselves”, as one website put it. The tattoo itself can be risky and/or off-putting and your intention with the image could be inconsiderate. Add to that the image of lemons and the unpleasantness is compounded, symbolizing sourness like disappointment or feeling screwed over, and in my case, it’s the former.  

            If I want to feel heard and to contribute, the plan is to have something true and compassionate to say in an appropriate situation, in the right tone and facial expression. 

 

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drag queen Yekaterina "Katya" Petrovna Zamolodchikova

 

          On the 19th, I dreamt that a woman we'll call Della, a fellow poet with whom I've been acquainted since high school, was in my life again briefly while happening to look drastically different all the years later due to being somehow much taller and also very obese. I bring this up not out of weight judgment in my conscious brain, but because this is exactly what showed up in my dream. Dream Della had shoulder-length white-blonde hair, wavy in a style I'm used to seeing in one of Katya's wigs. Sometime later, I heard from Della, then saw her in short order. She sent a letter in the mail, thanking me after whatever Dream Me may have done for her, and her letter was lovely both in the note itself and the presentation: a brief, concise, thoughtful thank you done in calligraphy on what was either parchment or card stock one might expect when receiving a formal invitation. This was followed by seeing her at a party after she had lost a great deal of weight. We didn't hang out, though, because I was busy playing with a dark-haired young boy.

          What I put together from these few dream clues was that Della's image was a stand-in for my writing. I've been too deep in procrastination recently about creating. Now is the time for turning out essays to finish the first draft of my book. If I'm not working on that, I should at least be coming up with poems or flash fiction, something, and yet instead, I've binged a wonderfully irreverent web series that is made perfect by its talented editing team, UNHhhh, exercised and stuffed my face with tortilla chips. My subconscious presented an obese Della, followed later by a child because that procrastination was challenged just yesterday and I want to turn things around. I really accomplished something in the writing of my book in addition to finishing and posting a blog post. The fictional kid represents my renewed enthusiasm, which seems a very appropriate metaphor, doesn't it?